instantkarmma: (*sigh*)
[personal profile] instantkarmma
The whole medication debacle has been taken care of, thank God. I'm wondering if I should have done more of a transition back to the good stuff because WHOA. Things have been a little bumpy. The little monster that lives inside managed to get its little talons in me yesterday. Chest hurt, blood ran cold, the whole nine. I managed to focus and get my thoughts back where they belong but it wasn't easy and it gets so terrifying even though I know it will be gone soon, or at least more securely at bay. It also dawned on me that hey- I still have ovaries! So I'm going to watch these little episodes a bit closer and see if they may be amplified by hormones. If so, I can at least be prepared.

This past weekend by infusion drug waved bye-bye. I was feeling a little odd; feverish, general malaise, etc. I thought maybe it could be chalked up to the whole brain med fiasco but then it was like...I felt the drain plug get pulled out and the goodness get pulled out. Not even metaphorically, I could literally feel it all draining out of me. Then I glanced at the calendar- of course it's about 4-5 weeks before my next chemo visit.

I wish I could take my body/self by the shoulders and go "settle down, damnit!"
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instantkarmma

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