Ow. Just...ow.

[instantkarmma]

Once again we come to the point in our hero's chemo journey where she wants to KILLMAIMDESTROY and also not move at all, both at the same time. I finally figured out how to articulate the post-chemo "I've been hit by a bus/soundly beaten with a cricket bat" pain as the feeling you get when you've gotten a pro massage but didn't drink any water and get that weird "full of toxins" feeling. Well duh, I was pumped full of toxins Thursday- of COURSE that's what it feels like! It's a description most people seem to be able to fathom though. On top of that I'm so effing exhausted. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point in the cycle, especially since that light was never too bright to begin with. Oh, and still pleurisy. I try not to bitch or wallow or whine but God DAMN this gets hard sometimes. And just hurts. I've been so inseparable from my ice pack lately, I hardly even feel it anymore. It's more just the act of doing something that helps than the ice pack being super-effective at this point. Why doesn't Baskin-Robbins deliver?